Recent Internet activity suggests there's some real confusion about age and when various life events are to be expected. Many lengthy guides have been published to help people navigate the confusion -- we've all seen Amy Poehler's face atop "30 Ways to Know You're in your Late 20s" lists. But it's not that complicated! To help simplify the issue, I've compiled 9 very simple tricks to know if you're in your late 20s or early 30s.
You look at your driver's license, subtract your birthdate from the current date, and get a delta of ~26 years.
The last time you celebrated your birthday with friends and family, you honestly told everyone you were 27.
You've ever thought in the last year, "Gosh, I'm 28 now."
The 10s column of the current year, minus the 10s column of your birthday, is a 3, while the 1s column equals the 1st column in year of your birth. An important caveat here is that your actual birthday must not have yet passed in the current calendar year!
The same as above, but only after your birthday passes within the current calendar year!
You have recently celebrated the 1-year anniversary of your "Dirty 30" birthday party.
Friends now jokingly call you an "old man" or "old woman". 12 years ago, when you were 20 years old, they did not do this as much.
The sad realization that your metabolism has slowed down is triggered by your "Happy 33rd Birthday!" cake.
You're 34 fucking years old.